In 1990, GM had the bright idea of restyling the G-bodies of yesteryear to make them look different from years past. The redesign didn’t win many fans from critics and consumers, who quickly dubbed them “upside-down bathtubs” and “beached whales,” but for emergency fleet vehicles, the new Caprice proved a hit.

This was in part thanks to the car’s standard L03, which gave the car good torque and horsepower to more quickly get taxis, like this one, to their destination. When first used by police officers, the V8 offered plenty of get-up-and-go to chase down criminals; in fact, as the production of Caprices wound down and demand for maintenance increased, a burgeoning cottage industry arose to refurbish these old cruisers before they got pawned off to taxi companies.

It was the life of most of these decommissioned cruisers to suffer a great deal of abuse. Our specimen above, despite commendable maintenance of all of its livery inside and out, is no different:

“Air conditioning works a little, but could use more freon. Glove box latch broken. Some minor exterior dents. Cab drives well except the front brake rotors are just beginning to bump a little. Transmission shifts a little late, but works OK.”

Hmm, that’s pretty bad. But there’s more:

“There is an exhaust leak starting, I believe, between the left exhaust manifold and the motor. The rear end has a slight whine (NYC service is very rough on the mechanicals). The roof light mostly works. Tires have good tread but they’re not the freshest. Driver’s seat back has a split. Catwoman voice box present, but not working.”

But hey, at least the poor thing is still running–or rather, crawling. The $3,850 price is negotiable, according to the owner, and it’s clear just from the listing (no. 1605996) that he has a bit of nostalgia for the old beater.

Lord knows having a push bumper in front and back would make you feel a bit less insecure when it comes to those unforeseen “love taps” in stop-and-go traffic. And hell, the car could even pay for itself if you just used it to transport people around every once in a while.

Do you find the Caprice a worthy rescue? Or is it better off in the scrap heap?