Video: How Do You Sell Chevy’s Ugliest Van, the Lumina APV?

For some unknown reason, anyone who was responsible for designing the minivan in the 1990s also had a handy supply of ugly sticks lying around somewhere. No manufacturer was safe, whether it was Toyota’s bulbous Previa or Ford’s squat and bland piece of crap, the Aerostar. As a former passenger in the latter, I can attest to its lack of any appeal whatsoever.

But the real losers of the minivan war had to be the GM trifecta: the Oldsmobile Sihlouette, Pontiac Trans Sport, and the topic of today’s video, the Chevrolet Lumina APV.

Stemming from GM’s desire to exploit a yet-untapped market of folks looking for a “stylish or sporty minivan,” the bigwigs selected the U-body for the base and, in 1989, gave the people what they “wanted” with the 1990 Lumina APV (APV was short for All-Purpose/Plastic Vehicle).

On the plus side, the Lumina looks absolutely awesome when given the right bumper guards and lighting. Photo: Cardomains.com

Two things spelled failure for the APV: first of all, its name led to some confusion amongst carbuyers, as it was shared across several other cars, like the Lumina Coupe, Lumina Euro Coupe, Lumina Z34 Coupe, Lumina Sedan, and more.

Secondly, its space-age, aerodynamic design with long and disorienting windshields was a major point of controversy, and ascribed the term “dustbuster” to the whole vehicle’s looks. An apt description if ever there was one.

The 1994 model, as seen above, attempted to address these and other problems by shortening the nose by three inches and adding a ridge to the dashboard. Added options included a remote-controlled power sliding door, built-in child seats for the second row, and traction control.

slidingdoorLuminaAPV

As for the video itself, everyone on the marketing team deserves a pat on the back for their efforts to make the APV as appealing as possible–having kids do crayon drawings for headers was a clever touch.

The female narrator makes a great point of ABS, and the commercial demonstrates how helpful it can be when avoiding soccer balls. Lame! If you ask us, they should’ve embraced the “dustbuster” moniker and offered them as optional equipment with built-in chargers.

But what do you think? Were the APV’s critics vindicated by the actual product? Or did the minivan deserve a better chance?

About the author

David Chick

David Chick comes to us ready for adventure. With passions that span clean and fast Corvettes all the way to down and dirty off-road vehicles (just ask him about his dream Jurassic Park Explorer), David's eclectic tastes lend well to his multiple automotive writing passions.
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