As the most profitable entertainment enterprise ever, the video game series Grand Theft Auto has completely enthralled players; and in this case, an Auburn football fan who decided it was time to play out his real-life version.

Photo provided by the East Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff’s Office.

As WDSU reports, on Saturday, September 21st around 2:30 AM, 20 year old freshman lacrosse player and Auburn student Zachary Burgess decided it was time for him to take his shot at GTA, for realsies. He stole a truck, kidnapped a woman, and ended up crashing into nine parked cars – a feat that took zero brain cells and cojones the size of basketballs.

The owner of the truck pulled up in the parking lot of a bar with a female passenger riding shotgun. Burgess hopped in the truck and tried to steal it with the woman still inside. As Burgess tried to get out of the parking lot, there were a number of cars blocking his way, so he smashed into all of them in the process. 

The woman managed to jump out of the truck and escape safely, nobody was hurt, and nine unsuspecting bar patrons got to make a crazy call to their insurance companies come Sunday morning.

According to WDSU, during questioning Burgess allegedly told an officer that he “wanted to see what it was really like to play the video game Grand Theft Auto.”

Burgess was arrested and charged with motor vehicle theft, nine counts of hit-and-run, and kidnapping. Bond was set at $80,000, and he ended up being released the following day after posting successfully. Somehow we think he put mom and dad into hock, instead of using his GTA gains. The dumb keep getting dumber…